Another matter which has pretty much always subconsciously been a factor in my life but that I haven't really given too much thought until recently is bathroom politics. This is something that I don't think really affects men to the same extent, the primary worry being whether or not the guy next to you is staring at your penis. But for women, public urination (or god forbid, a number two) is like a mine field of embarrassments and potential faux pas.
It's especially bad in the work place, where you have to pee in the company of those you actually know, but who aren't really your friends. At my work there are 2 toilets. This proves particularly troublesome as it's only ever going to be you or the other person who is responsible, you worry about peeing too loudly, you worry about peeing too quietly, you worry about inadvertently passing wind within ear shot of another human being, but worst of all is "The Dead Lock". Imagine the setting... 2 otherwise perfectly reasonable and normal women in adjoining cubicles, they both desperately need to pee but fear the other hearing them so they sit there in silence, wishing the other one would simply just get on with it... the silence drags on and on until both become completely incapable of peeing at all. Then there's the fear of leaving, what if they leave at the same time as you and realise who it was they were in pee dead lock with? Usually it's customary for one person to give in and leave so the other can then pee anonymously in private. Even if you both manage to pee at the same time there's always the awkward moments afterwards when you have to wash your hands next to each other and politely say hello both painfully aware that the other has just heard you pee, or when you've almost finished just as someone else comes into the toilet so you have to rush as quickly as possible to leave before they do. Worst of all the the person who just doesn't care, the person who pisses like a race horse, farts like a man, then appears from the cubicle as if nothing has happened, gives you a cheery hello whilst reaching over you to get to the soap and then attempts to engage you in meaningless conversation about hand towels. The horror!
Gah... like I said, it's a mine field out there! So next time you're paranoid that some dude is staring at your cock, just be grateful you're not a woman.
1 comments:
Hilarious. I had a boss once who was ALWAYS in there when I would come out to wash my hands, and that is still all I think about when I hear her name.
Post a Comment